Nature Documentary Fanatic Pillows

...and now Blue Planet two...

'Intelligent creatures bedamned - look at the rubbish they're watching!'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

Live Stream

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Crocodile

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Maria Sibylla Merian

"But what's my motivation?"

"I started out with a molehill, then I just kept going."

People Planet.

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

Steve Irwin.

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

The Hidden World of Desks

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

Rain Forest Filmcrew

"The notches on his tusks? That's the number of rivals my daddy has defeated!"

"Hold on, you can't attack her! Can't you see she's pregnant!"

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

"Okay - I can see you now."

'He's been sleeping up there ever since he saw that 'Jaguars' program on the nature channel.'