Nature Documentary Fanatic T-Shirts

'Intelligent creatures bedamned - look at the rubbish they're watching!'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

The Food Chain

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Live Stream

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Crocodile

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

Maria Sibylla Merian

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

"But what's my motivation?"

"I started out with a molehill, then I just kept going."

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

"The notches on his tusks? That's the number of rivals my daddy has defeated!"

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

Rain Forest Filmcrew

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

The Hidden World of Desks

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

"He's been unbearable since he learned to jump!"

"Hold on, you can't attack her! Can't you see she's pregnant!"

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

'He's been sleeping up there ever since he saw that 'Jaguars' program on the nature channel.'