Nature Documentary Aficionado T-Shirts

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

The Food Chain

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Live Stream

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

Crocodile

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Maria Sibylla Merian

"But what's my motivation?"

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

"Nothing like the History Channel to get you to appreciate these peaceful times we're enjoying."

'I'm freezing...The rich list is a little thin this year.'

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

'Police have counted the dead resulting from today's disaster. However, they suspect that some of these victims may be just playing possum.'

The Hidden World of Desks

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'I guess our fifteen minutes are up.'

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"