Wildlife Documentary Fans Pillows

'Yes, it is miraculous that we found our way unerringly across thousands of miles of ocean to the spawning grounds. Now spawn!'

'I love poetry and adore the theatre but watch any wildlife documentary and it's 'killer this, killer that'...'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Frog in the puddles.

"They're so like us."

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"But what's my motivation?"

'Phoor...watch these sperm whales at it...ah...yes..yes...'

Buck Naked

Computers affect real life.

Leopards do change their spots

"Those pervs from the nature channel are filming us again."

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

Steve Irwin.

"We found her wandering at the edge of the forest. She was raised by scientists."

Dead animal toupee.

The male of the species approaches the cafe counter. What's that, Mr. Pinkerton? Careful not to disturb those around him, the male scans his surroundings. His senses, his vision and his sense of smell have been honed by years of evolution and survival. Sniiif! At last, the male makes his move! He orders one slice of rhubarb pie, a la mode! You want pie? Suddenly, he is alerted to danger. The male seeks refuge behind a petunia! … but is it too late? No pie for him. The male will have a salad. The

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

Casting Wildlife Films.

"I'm not a #@*%! frog! I'm a toad!"

"What can you possibly expect from my client, your honor? He's a wolf!"

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

Rain Forest Filmcrew

Mousehole TV

"We'll have whatever they are at the next table."

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

Reintroducing wolves to the wild.

Field guide to North American plumbers

Paul the house sparrow, yet another of life's creatures undone by the David Attenborough cameras.

"Hold on, you can't attack her! Can't you see she's pregnant!"

Filming the Crocodile.

The Lion Tamer.