Wildlife Documentarians Pillows

"I just think it's worth questioning -- are we mating for life because we want to, or because we've been socialized by all those nature documentaries?"

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

The Food Chain

Live Stream

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

David Attenborough's Morning

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

'Still no sign of life.'

"But what's my motivation?"

"I'm not trying to be cool, I'm just making sure the crocodile hunters won't see my eyes reflected in their searchlight..."

Maria Sibylla Merian

'Confounded biodiversity.'

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

The hummingbird's hum.

'Yes, as dodos, we can't fly, but if we could only learn to climb trees, we would be safe from predators...'

"It's not you—it's natural selection."

Rain Forest Filmcrew

In Other News, Owls. Owl News Now. Here Owls. Owl Time.

NOTE: As Dr Furshluggin (R.I.P.) proved, stroking a bears' belly doesn't stop his attack.

"The notches on his tusks? That's the number of rivals my daddy has defeated!"

Casting Wildlife Films.

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

"What? You mean this old thing?"

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

Mousehole TV

Prairie computers

Rhino bird in the rain