Wildlife Documentarians T-Shirts

"I just think it's worth questioning -- are we mating for life because we want to, or because we've been socialized by all those nature documentaries?"

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

The Food Chain

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Live Stream

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

David Attenborough's Morning

'Still no sign of life.'

"Hey, Doris. I'm learning some interesting things about animals from my trail camera! For instance, I never knew that bears were capable of making obscene paw gestures!"

"I'm not trying to be cool, I'm just making sure the crocodile hunters won't see my eyes reflected in their searchlight..."

"But what's my motivation?"

Maria Sibylla Merian

'Confounded biodiversity.'

The hummingbird's hum.

People Planet.

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

"Well look who's waiting with bated breath!!"

'Yes, as dodos, we can't fly, but if we could only learn to climb trees, we would be safe from predators...'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"The notches on his tusks? That's the number of rivals my daddy has defeated!"

Casting Wildlife Films.

NOTE: As Dr Furshluggin (R.I.P.) proved, stroking a bears' belly doesn't stop his attack.

Rain Forest Filmcrew

In Other News, Owls. Owl News Now. Here Owls. Owl Time.

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

"What? You mean this old thing?"

"It's not you—it's natural selection."

Mousehole TV

Prairie computers