Wildlife Documentary Filmmaker T-Shirts

'Don't even think about it, Mister. There's no way I'm gonna end up on some nature show.'

'Something tells me Attenborough and his crew have been at it again.'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Crocodile

"No need for stage fright, it's just a documentary crew: be yourself..."

"But what's my motivation?"

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

"They've been walking like this since they watched that documentary on elephants."

'It's a deal: we don't eat you, and you get us on Jacques Cousteau's next special.'

'If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?'

Casting Wildlife Films.

'You've killed four warthogs, nine antelopes, two buffaloes and six gnus, but you haven't killed any zebras! Well, I call that discrimination!'

"This is a repeat. See what's on The Bird Channel."

The Hidden World of Desks

'It's that bloody David Attenborough! It looks like one of us is about to die a gruesome, yet visually stunning death.'

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

In Other News, Owls. Owl News Now. Here Owls. Owl Time.

Mousehole TV

Trap set by bear to catch hunter.

'Ambushing them is a great idea: I usually tend to charge blindly...'

Big Brother - Final Series.

Filming the Crocodile.

Paul the house sparrow, yet another of life's creatures undone by the David Attenborough cameras.

"I got the idea watching David Attenborough."

Field guide to North American plumbers

"We'll have whatever they are at the next table."

'He had a hop-on part in a David Attenborough special.'

'I'm sorry, but I'll have to eat you. . . they're filming a documentary.'

"Harold... they know."

"Stop it! There's a wildlife photographer around, so I want you to behave!"

'He's saying 'Enough bananas - I'm also a carnivore'.'

'Whoa! You're right - they DO shed their skins!'

Happy Birthday, Bimba

"He looks like becoming our first 'celebrity' gorilla!"

"Could you guys come back later? We're not exhibiting our best behaviors."