Summer Resident Satirist Gifts

"Not much is known about them. They apparently, had a highly advanced, thriving civilization. Then one August, everyone left the city and never returned."

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Beware of the Lawn

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

Hotness

Snowman and stickmen losing arms

Suburban street.

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

"Did you get some work done?"

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

Autumn Leaves

'It's spring, Boss! When a young man's fancy turns to union organizing!"

"It was a lovely holiday. The chips crispy and delicious, the ice cream cornets were to die for, the only downside being, the hostility of the humans, who were reluctant to share their sustenance."

Shark in the swimming pool.

"Defending you isn't going to be easy. . . Sana actually started an 'Extremely cruel, stupid and psychotic kid' list especially for you."

Snowman arriving home to his Refrigerator Home

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

'Your breathing test results would be normal ... if you were 3'8' and 150 years old.'

'I'm the ghost of non-sectarian midwinter public holiday future.'

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

"I give you about ten days, then your head will rot."

Punch has a smoking break.

'So that's what hockey players do in summer.'

'This is totally bananas!'

"I'm determined to beat the traffic, I just need to work out how they fly."

'I am wearing my bikini!'

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'