Neighborhood Satirist Gifts

'Oh great. The Jones replaced their bird bath with a hot tub.'

Almost, but not quite, welcome.

"How sad! They don't appear to have any gardening equipment for me to borrow!"

Welcome?

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

"This spray is guaranteed to rid our home of backyard pests, even the Hendersons!"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Hoodie Hang-out

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"Thank god we're out of the city."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

This is where Brent council sends you

Suburban street.

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

Autumn Leaves

Traffic Lights Medicine

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

Robinia Floribunda

'I really think you should check your pools, sir.'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

Lex Ave Express

"It's been a rainy winter."

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

",,,These job cuts will not affect patient care...."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

'Not 'til you make it stop yappin'!'

Bumper sticker reads: 'I'd rather be text messaging.'

'I don;t see how that's going to work?'

"Well, Charles, it wasn't a 'pesky little wasp,' it was a hummingbird."

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

'And me fresh out of xanax.'