Community Satirist Gifts

We'll be ok walking to the school bus stop. Watch out. There are scary folks out there! Slam! Ding dong! You let your children walk alone?!! Shame! And the scariest are nosy neighbors!

The prying mantis,

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"Yes, one is a dog."

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

The Proust of Twitter

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

Horse statue throws off rider.

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

Social media and censorship...

'Twitter for goldfish.'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"I'm after the history section."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"Fact amnesty"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

Inhospitality tent.

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

Ah Democracy - Just Like Home

"These 'ordinary working class' types, I think my scout at Oxford must have been one."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

"Remember, if you enjoy this intercourse, don't forget to 'like and subscribe'."

"Pat's independently wealthy and dependably entertaining."

"God help us, it's that guy."

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

"Show me a man who's optimistic about the human race..."

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."