Store Owners Gifts

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Stores of Mystery

The Texas Chainstore Massacre

Closing Laugh: Display Signs LB - Gone for 'T'

"Did you boys see anything?"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

The Dorrie Decimal System

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Fast food. Even faster food

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Cut Price

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Today's special... donuts.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

Try to guess the continent dining...

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'