Retail Owner Gifts

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

'Help Wanted'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

The Dorrie Decimal System

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Cut Price

Fast food. Even faster food

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

Today's special... donuts.

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Home depot."

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'