Retail Investor Gifts

Musical chair game with 'brokers', 'retail', 'equities' etc.

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Larry's used art

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Cut Price

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Wall St. or True Love.

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

A women in a shoeshop.

Will work for ETFs

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'