Retail Investor T-Shirts

Musical chair game with 'brokers', 'retail', 'equities' etc.

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Larry's used art

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Excuse me, I'm here to do some sole searching."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I want something that will make Richard Burton sit up and take notice."

Cut Price

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Wall St. or True Love.

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Will work for ETFs

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

A women in a shoeshop.

"Home depot."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'