Retail Innovator T-Shirts

"See? You don't need fancy window displays to attract attention...just get some police tape!"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"Like my new haircut?"

'She dressed herself this morning.'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Anyone who laughs at my new haircut will be subjected to immediate termination."

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.

Television company new recruit

Dog Walker

"It's expensive because it connects to the internet."

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

'Welcome home, dear. While you were away I redecorated...'

'I ran into a whittler.'

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'

'I don't know why, but our new natural perfume line just isn't selling.'

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

"That one is non-wash. Also no ironing is required."

Mutant Mootunes - Pete Poodle Pants

'...and all of our power suits come with a complimentary surge protector.'

e-procurement

'I think of it as mending pants, not splicing jeans.'

I've found the designer gene.

A man on a desert island fashions a bikini for himself.

The latest fall fashion trends