Shopping Innovator T-Shirts

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"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"Yes sir, I'll admit I was sceptical about the whole 'mini-office' concept at first..."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

'She dressed herself this morning.'

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"Like my new haircut?"

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Dare to be different.

'I've got it written down...'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

Modular Offices

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Anyone who laughs at my new haircut will be subjected to immediate termination."

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'But what do you sell?'

I'm more than just a sauce, I'm a re-sauce.