Shopping Innovator T-Shirts

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"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"Yes sir, I'll admit I was sceptical about the whole 'mini-office' concept at first..."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"Like my new haircut?"

'She dressed herself this morning.'

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Modular Offices

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

Dare to be different.

'I've got it written down...'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"It's expensive because it connects to the internet."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"Anyone who laughs at my new haircut will be subjected to immediate termination."

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'But what do you sell?'

Television company new recruit