Shopping Strategist T-Shirts

'I'm torn between brand loyalty & changing trends in the consumer experience.'

'I either need more money or more coupons.'

'I don't know what it is, but I want it! It's 20 percent off!'

Mall Directory asks, Where's your Christmas Spirit.

"OMG! I've bought wine instead of milk...again!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

'This is very uncommon with men...'coupon clipper's wrist'.'

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

"O.K. That's my list. You got anything on your list?"

Well, look who's here.

'I'm sorry but this computer coupon is good only when printed on a color printer.'

Welcome to Wal-Mart. Comfort food: straight ahead, third row ? then turn right./He was good. Too good.

"Excuse me. How do you physically add things to a shopping cart?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"When did water start costing more than wine?"

8 Foodscare products or less.

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

SPEND £100 AND GET THE STORE FREE.

"I agree, it fits perfectly...but not my budget!"

'Of course I can tell you what I spent all that grocery money on. I spent it on a grocery.'

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

"Your shopping carts really should be getting mileage. This one is costing me about $30 per aisle!"

'Please make out the receipt to 'workers' protective clothing'.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"What an excellent list - have you considered a career as a journalist?"

Drastically Reduced Prices!

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"Did we remember to get that thing we came here for?"

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"I think everybody bought everything they needed about three or four years ago."

"She's a little traumatized—this is her first Wal-Mart."