Shopper Strategists T-Shirts

Magazine Section at Shops

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"Sure, shopping online is faster and cheaper, but there's something almost sensuous about carrying an armload of packages!"

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'I've got it written down...'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

Artificial Isle

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'But what do you sell?'

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

"Spend a pound, lend a pound, risk a pound and shed a pound."

"Companies know too much about us, listen...'You've earned 500 points and it's time you got back in touch with your cousin Emma'!"

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'