Shop Smart Strategist T-Shirts

A butcher's counter is divided between 'delicious,' 'not bad' and 'edible.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Supermarket Merge

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'I've got it written down...'

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

Artificial Isle

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'But what do you sell?'

'I'd add 'UK' to your name and do it in big red letters...that'll be £15,000.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'