Wardrobe Innovator T-Shirts

"I don't really have the skirt for this blouse."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'She dressed herself this morning.'

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"Like my new haircut?"

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'Good to know my whole social life hasn't been a complete waste.'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

Caveman applying wallpaper cave paintings

"It's expensive because it connects to the internet."

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

"Anyone who laughs at my new haircut will be subjected to immediate termination."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

'Welcome home, dear. While you were away I redecorated...'

'Why are you putting laundry soap into the proton anti-matter warp drive engine?'

'I ran into a whittler.'

Wearing all black

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

"Is that my skirt?!!"

'...and all of our power suits come with a complimentary surge protector.'

Mutant Mootunes - Pete Poodle Pants

''Get a life' was last year! This year it's 'get a while bunch of lives!''

'zillions spent learning about weight loss... But no one has a clue about weight shift.'

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

"That one is non-wash. Also no ironing is required."

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."