Retail Owner Mugs

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

'Help Wanted'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

The Dorrie Decimal System

Cut Price

Fast food. Even faster food

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

"Home depot."

Today's special... donuts.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

"This is our soft opening."