Store Owners Mugs

Please buy something!

Stores of Mystery

The Texas Chainstore Massacre

Closing Laugh: Display Signs LB - Gone for 'T'

"Did you boys see anything?"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

The Dorrie Decimal System

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Fast food. Even faster food

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Cut Price

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Try to guess the continent dining...

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

Today's special... donuts.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

"This is our soft opening."