Business Owners Gifts

Serious Competition: Thingymajigs vs Watchamacallits.

'Well, that's simplified the mission statement.'

'The great thing about being your own boss is that you can work whenever you want - as long as you always want to work.'

'The company I ran was non-profit, but that wasn't intentional.'

"Just a simple test to determine whether you're self employed or not...What day of the week is it?"

'Your business plan demonstrates that you have traded prudently, invested wisely and grown at a sensible rate. All your projections look accurate. I'm afraid that in the current economic climate there is no way that this bank can invest...'

'I know you want financial certainty for your business. Here it is, your business is certain to fail.'

'We've reached the thirty percent cut in operating expenses you wanted and we're the only two left in the building.'

Lemonade Stand Becoming Starbucks

Beef Stew.

'Your complaint has been taken to the highest level.'

Serious Competition: Thingamajigs and Whatchamacallits.

'Employers' hugging a huge piggy bank handed down from 'Workers comp reform'.

'When I say we all need to make sacrifices, I, of course, didn't mean us.'

'You wouldn't be here if you had provided your employees and yourself with a health care plan.'

Rick's American Laundry,

'I think it's the landlord after his three months in advance lease payments.'

Hug therapy for the lonely at-the-top executives.

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'When did you put your robots on the payroll?'

"We were a once proud nation of shopkeepers!"

"Why does your men's clothing store need a loan?" "During the pandemic sales of pants have dropped way off."

Help Wanted Signs Explained.

"I've bought my own container."

Special offer: 25% off all staff

"That's the first buck we made."

Selling cars at 0% interest.

"Times are tough, so I've had to Airbnb the office."

'Sir, a number of employees are here with a gripe.'

How Trickle Down Economics Work

Done With You

I don

Is there a reason I'm going into the red? Reason? Am I being penalized? Have I done something wrong? Maybe it's like A Wonderful Life. Your greed is catching up to you. You're experiencing bad karma. So I need to raise my prices?

ACME Mannequins. Damage incurred during shipping is costing us an arm and a leg!

STRIP Hambone: Failing computer business