Family Business Owner Gifts

'Some day, son, all of this will be your ex-wife's.'

"It's not nepotism if I'm the best son for the job."

"Let me remind you, Waterman, you're only a distant relative!"

'I see by your resume that you are my son. If this checks out, the job is yours.'

'Someday son...all this will be yours.'

"He's thirty and still with his parent company."

Royster & Son (the competent one, not Toby)

"It is not nepotism. He's only distantly related."

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"I didn't want the family business but ten years ago, on take your child to work day, my father wouldn't let me go home again."

"I'm leaving the company. I want to spend less time with my family."

"I didn't want the family business but ten years ago on take-your-child-to-work day my father wouldn't let me go home again."

"I can't go out with you guys ... Mom grounded me."

"This is a family operation, Ben, and we're evicting you from our family."

"We're a family company, so if you mess up, we just yell at you."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

6 Brothers Falafel

Bank Loan Dept. Personal Business. Uh-oh, some loans have gone bad! A tennis pro defaulted and a novelist is in Chapter 7. The bed linens company folded and the scuba school went under! Are any of our loans still good? Yeah, the music streaming service is totally sound! And ironically, the lighting company is in the black!

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"Read our contracts, Ms Donahue. It says 'No Sexual Harassment on the workfloor!'"

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'