Business Owner Gifts

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"Business is terrible."

'I spotted a gap in the market.'

'Your proposal is innovative, Unfortunately we won't be able to use it because we've never tried something like this before,'

'Just exactly how bad is our cash flow problem?'

"We've talked it over and we've decided that you must not really be a customer."

Boss loads sales people with paperwork and wonders why they aren't selling

'I want you to meet my son Edward. One day, this company will belong to him and I think it's time for all of you to get to know each other.'

Getting employees involved in decision making can help give them a sense of ownership. Sometimes, a little too much.

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"One day, this will all be yours. But right now, I need you down in the warehouse."

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Your Dad's a jerk.'

"It used to be all about truth and justice. Now, mostly I fight for market share."

'One day, this will all be your fault.'

'You may be the best man for the job, but I have a dozen women who are better qualified.'

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

'I'm just running this past legal.'

'Whatever happened to the good old principle of 'Hire 'em and Fire 'em'?'

'That's our mission statement.'

"So what makes you think you're the right person for this post?" "Well, I'm highly motivated, outgoing and independently minded. Isn't that right, Dad?"

"This is what happens when a family business doesn't have a succession plan!"

'Oh no! It's VAT man!'

"We'll double our chances of recovery if we buy two lottery tickets."

'It's one of the advantages of having your own business.'

'Someday, all of this liability exposure will be yours!'

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

The Real American Dream

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

The moment of truth for the young Steve Jobs.

'What you have to understand, Ms. Titmus, is your glass ceiling is my glass floor.'

'Someday, son, none of all this will be yours.'

Business Partners' vows