Company Owner Gifts

'Behind every great business deal is a company lawyer advising against it.'

"It's the new management structure, the worker's the one at the bottom."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'That's the one day we experimented with giving our employees guaranteed job security.'

'Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some are allowed to work for great men like me.'

The Big Cheese

My Holdings So Far

"At least this damn pullback is pulling back lots of money from the wrong hands."

"R.B. always acts like each billion is his first."

'Ler's merge? 'I'll have to talk it over with my staff.'

"I'm Freddy Cucumba! I on half of this company."

"Anybody want to merge with a steel mill?"

"Anderson, Anderson and Andersons - Stephens speaking."

"Well, we don't have any solutions 'as such' but we have employed a management consultant who is going to give the problem a helpful acronym and set up a series of meetings to draw up some pie charts."

"£38,000 in consultancy fees and 'sell more stuff' is the best you can manage."

"This company is 100 percent nondiscriminatory. We'll take money from anyone."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

Cut Price