Small Business Owner Gifts

"She's asking if it's fresh-squeezed. Should I tell her to f**k off?"

Adam and Eve Food Truck

"We're still the same, great company we've always been, only we've ceased to exist."

At the printers - "Business is booming I need 6 more business cards, ASAP."

Little Oil

Home Business - Accounts.

"It's the latest Government guidance on 'managing paperwork for small businesses'"

The Real American Dream

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

Self-employed.

'Well, yes I can see there's definitely potential for growth.'

'You have to stop bringing all that work home. You're trying to send a fax from our toaster.'

'Don't make me take these home - 50p.' 'What WAS I thinking - 20p.' 'I know, I know ... - 10p.'

"I can't afford this plan either. Do I need to remind you again that I'm just a small businessman?"

Changing times for minority businesses.

Member of the Fortune 5 Million

'So, Bob, I hear you've branched out!'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

A single man has the job title of CEO, Business Manager, HR, Undermanager, Head of Division, Personnel. . .

Lemonade, 50? ? After 25? mail-in rebate.

Lemonade: 'Closed. Lost Our Insurance.'

Supa Savers and Hyper Market surround Cornered Shop.

'Of COURSE it's only a dollar... It's a small business loan!'

'I do admire a small business owner with a sense of humour.'

'Unfortunately my staff are now all working flexitime.'

'What? You've never had a loan application from a small business owner before?'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

They used the Good Small Business Coach, Bad Small Business Coach Approach.

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'We like to keep our supply chain short.'

'I'll covet this trophy right up to the time I sell it to met my payroll.'

'I don't know what happened... my cousin in Southern California became a millionaire with the exact same business!'

'But what if the chancellor refuses to cut your tax rate? Will you really take the business overseas?'

"I'm just phoning to tell you your 'cheque in the post' has just arrived."

Home Business - Accounting Software.