Stock Whiz Gifts

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

The day the stock market went UP.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"What's a debenture?"

Group Think Time

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

Soaring Profits

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

Dow Jones drop

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

Money exchange

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"What comes after zillion?"

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

Business News.

"Let's see now. This one goes right here."

"Today stocks hit a new high, just as global doom and gloom hit a new low."

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'