Market Whiz Gifts

'You were in commodities - cattle, stuff like that - so you must feel right at home here.'

Economic Forecasting.

"All in favor of changing out name from '17th Federal Savings & Loan' to 'Still Here Bank'..."

"I'm not goofing off. I'm letting my money work for me."

Bewildered, Inc. . . Stocks, bonds, mutual funds.

"I don't know how the competition are finding out our secrets!"

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

The day the stock market went UP.

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"What's a debenture?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Group Think Time

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Soaring Profits

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

Dow Jones drop

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

Money exchange

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"What comes after zillion?"

'Keep asking for more allowance. It's good practice for negotiating future stock and option grants.'