Market Wizard Gifts

'It was the best of investment times, it was the worst of investment times...' (A Tale of Two Markets).

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

For some reason, we're not appealing enough to those awful little bastards everyone hates."

'I've decided to sell before the market goes stale.'

'Do you have any comfort stocks?'

R. Donham, Investment Guru - Bought before the the bust.

Roger's career as a salesman wasn't off to a great start...

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Profit

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

The Shrinking Dollar.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.