Marketing Wizard Gifts

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

"I didn't think much of the plot, but I like the product placement."

'This is one of the most powerful marketing tools known to man!'

"He used to be in advertising"

'Our Marketing was really focussed, unfortunately it was focussed on 32 year old bachelors from Swindon called Colin.'

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'You may have three mergers.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

'But what do you sell?'

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'Henderson, Sir - marketing.'

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

"What I want from you, is a big budget event with a low budget, budget."

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public. Ethical advertising uses the truth to deceive the public.'

Wishing Well: Tax reciept available for business related wishes.

"Love's OK, but there's no money in it. For the right price, I could help people fall in love with your products."

"Here's the artist's conception of your proposed smile."