Marketing Wizard Gifts

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

"I didn't think much of the plot, but I like the product placement."

'This is one of the most powerful marketing tools known to man!'

"He used to be in advertising"

'Our Marketing was really focussed, unfortunately it was focussed on 32 year old bachelors from Swindon called Colin.'

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'For P.R. purposes, let's use the phrase, 'uncanny luck' rather than 'dumb luck'.'

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

'You may have three mergers.'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"We can succeed if our target audience is not made up of rational human beings."

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"What I want from you, is a big budget event with a low budget, budget."

"Congratulations. Your ad isn't selling out product, but it's a YouTube sensation."

'It's the philosophy of the company that truth in advertising begins at home.'

'But what do you sell?'

Google signwriter.

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

'The good news is consumer confidence is up. And the REALLY good news is consumer gullibility is Way up.'

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'Henderson, Sir - marketing.'