Sales Wizard Gifts

Larry knew how to close a sale.

Salesman Sells His Own Clothes To Customer

Chster K. Crimpknuckle, the undisputed King of stepladder salesmen.

"And you say it does really well in the snow?"

"I found an old 'Google glass' device and you're going to wear it whenever you talk to a customer."

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

'This model even has a sports car on board.'

"Would you mind not reading ahead, Bert? We don't get to the happy ending until the third quarter sales figures!"

"They claim he's so good, he could get people to bid on roadkill."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

Traffic Management Strategic Group

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

'Almost finished.'

'I can't wait for Power Point.'

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

'You may have three mergers.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

'First the good news.'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

I got the raise

'Your father installed a security system.'

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."

"What I want from you, is a big budget event with a low budget, budget."