Wholesale Wizard Gifts

"Hello, can I buy wholesale? I even have my own tank!"

Pounding speeds up the computer.

"We only got six days of funding."

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

Rocking horse

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"Lovely dovetail."

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

Targets.

Waiting for retirement.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

Gerald Ratner's return

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"Do you have a link I can click on that removes me from all future conversations with you?"

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

Dustbin monster.

'... No, you're not on the short list. You're not even on the long list.'

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

"I've got a great idea! By adding the words "and associates" to my business name, no one will every suspect I'm really just one person with a phone and a web site working out of my bedroom!"

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

This is Pandora, our new Content Manager.

'This is Osgood, our most essential man -- he thinks up new ways to limit warranties!'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

Dad's Workbench

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

"I'd like you to consider some of our exciting career opportunities working for anyone else but me."

"I wasn't ho-ho-ho'ing at you, I was ho-ho-ho'ing with you."

I got the raise

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'