Deal Wizard Gifts

It's been a pleasure taking you to the cleaners.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

The president's men

A fight in the Boardroom.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

'You'll have to take an online company aptitude test, but if you're the designer we're looking for, you've already designed an app for that.'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'We divested ourselves of a division here, a subsidiary there, a branch here, an affiliate there...there's nothing left!'

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"It's Swamp & Swallow - they're making an offer we can't refuse!"

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"They've agreed to the merger, the sticking point is who is swallowing who?"

'If we have only fractional ownership, it's not a private jet anymore, is it?'

You gotta hand it to the old man, he still knows how to motivate!

Opening the door to new customers

'He exuded the confidence of an exec who had closed mega deals, and hadn't found a flea in a week.'

Takeovers.