Retail Wizard Gifts

'I don't know Joe, maybe we;re using the wrong kind of glass?'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

"...And there has been a rapid decline in the number of complaints."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

Optical Illusion Supply Company.

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

Early man learns that by walking upright, his hands become free to do many useful things.

'I found this sales plan from 1977 ...'

'Let me through - I've a bargain for a nose!'

A bar selling 'crafty' beer is more popular than a bar selling 'craft' beer.

'You may have three mergers.'

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

'Man, I've bought heaps on my credit card this month...It always amazes me...How many things I'd rather have than money.'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'McWit, did you forget to pay the gravity bill this month again?'

'Henderson, Sir - marketing.'

'... And for $50 more, this is the same basketball shoe in a turbo model.'

"What I want from you, is a big budget event with a low budget, budget."

Man tried to unload a ship in a bottle.

"I'd like you to meet our director of scratch-and-sniff advertising."

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

Wishing Well: Tax reciept available for business related wishes.

Sold It All.

"I didn't think much of the plot, but I like the product placement."

Online Trading

"No, honey, you didn't make history on that day - you made halloumi!"

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

'Simpkins, I'd like to introduce you to the secret of my business success.'

'My fan focus groups indicate that I should show more of my legs.'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

It's been a pleasure taking you to the cleaners.

Marketing in the Anthropocene Era: "Hey, it's basically just another branding challenge. How do we make the looming possibility of human extinction sexy?"