Market Whizz Gifts

'This is where programmed trading kicks in.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

The day the stock market went UP.

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"What's a debenture?"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Group Think Time

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"You were right. Building an online business empire is even more fun than playing games."

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Dow Jones drop

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

Money exchange

"What comes after zillion?"

'Keep asking for more allowance. It's good practice for negotiating future stock and option grants.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'Those are my twins: NASDAQ and Dow. They were born at the height of the dot.com boom.'

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

"All it takes is a little marketing, Tia Carmen!"

'Mr Rombly has cancelled his appointment. The Dow is up and he's feeling no pain.'

'The latest market research shows that men's neckware width is the most accurate indicator of market fluctuations.'

Wall Street has a one way arrow upwards.

"Carpe De Revenue!"

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'Your best hedge against a down market is having lots of money.'

'I'd love to play house, Kevin, but I've got a business to run.'

"Oh, that three billion dollars."