Economics Wizard Gifts

Clinton pummel's the GOP!

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

Profit

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

"Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

The Shrinking Dollar.

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"There are the arts, the sciences, agriculture, and commerce. Stick with commerce, if you know what's good for you."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'