Financial Wizard Gifts

Tax Simplification

'Why bother to budget? So we can worry before we spend money, as well as afterwards.'

'The scary thing is he's our CFO.'

'If you've already sent in your payment, kindly disregard this friendly reminder.'

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

Handled all of my own investments

Madame Borigard: Reader of the Occult - Derivatives & Credit Default Swaps Explained

"We know stocks will go up but we don't know which ones or when."

Creative Accounting Inc - Accounts Receivable/Accounts Decievable.

'Thank you for the treasurer's report, Miss Elkins.'

'I just got back from Wall Street.'

"It's not begging if you've been to college. It's attempting to arrange interim financing while restructuring your debt load."

Bottle of pills labelled 'Global Recovery Capsules,' with 'Warning: May cause inflation, deflation, nausea, panic attacks. Use caution when mixing with optimism, stocks, bonds.'

'I'll feel better about his recovery chances after he's able to be taken off life support.'

'I know figures don't lie. Your job is to make them.'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'All right, I got a pencil. Now, how do you figure the P/E ratio again?'

'My dad is an accountant so he deducts withholding tax on my allowance.'

Indian executive playing flute to a business chart like a snake charmer.

"I call him Recession - because you never know when he's going to bite."

'This year we're in really great shape. Nobody understands our financial statement!'

"If I were money, you'd listen to me."

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

"Before anyone gets too optimistic this is a chart of our corporate indebtedness."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

STRIP *Bloomerbery Money * Professional fund manager

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

Economic analysis...

The Accountant's Cook Book

'The bonuses are in. You buy lunch, I'll buy the restaurant.'

Eureka! - "Sounds good!"

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"I'm afraid we've had to move him to expensive care."

'Is robbing Peter to pay Paul like using your Mastercard to pay Visa?'