Financial Wizard Pillows

Tax Simplification

'Why bother to budget? So we can worry before we spend money, as well as afterwards.'

'The scary thing is he's our CFO.'

'If you've already sent in your payment, kindly disregard this friendly reminder.'

Handled all of my own investments

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

Madame Borigard: Reader of the Occult - Derivatives & Credit Default Swaps Explained

"We know stocks will go up but we don't know which ones or when."

'Thank you for the treasurer's report, Miss Elkins.'

Creative Accounting Inc - Accounts Receivable/Accounts Decievable.

'I just got back from Wall Street.'

"It's not begging if you've been to college. It's attempting to arrange interim financing while restructuring your debt load."

'I'll feel better about his recovery chances after he's able to be taken off life support.'

Bottle of pills labelled 'Global Recovery Capsules,' with 'Warning: May cause inflation, deflation, nausea, panic attacks. Use caution when mixing with optimism, stocks, bonds.'

'I know figures don't lie. Your job is to make them.'

'All right, I got a pencil. Now, how do you figure the P/E ratio again?'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'This year we're in really great shape. Nobody understands our financial statement!'

'My dad is an accountant so he deducts withholding tax on my allowance.'

Indian executive playing flute to a business chart like a snake charmer.

"I call him Recession - because you never know when he's going to bite."

"If I were money, you'd listen to me."

"Before anyone gets too optimistic this is a chart of our corporate indebtedness."

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

'It's an S.E.C. approved GPS system...'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'What was your entry, 'Rob Peter to Pay Paul all about?'

STRIP *Bloomerbery Money * Professional fund manager

"I'm afraid we've had to move him to expensive care."

Economic analysis...

'...and it must be self-fiancing.'

'Is robbing Peter to pay Paul like using your Mastercard to pay Visa?'

'Sorry, Mary, but my intuition has been telling me to avoid hunches altogether!'

'The bonuses are in. You buy lunch, I'll buy the restaurant.'

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."