Investment Whiz Gifts

"When he said 'money isn't everything' I knew we were in trouble."

'That just shows how much everyone depends on China economically.'

Drowning in the Financial Crisis.

The starred item in our portfolio of funds mean the price fluctuations could cause heart attacks.

'I've invested a few thousand for you in mutual funds, a few thousand in treasury bills and a few thousand in municipal bonds.' 'Could I have a quarter?'

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

Financial Advisor.

Banker's sign says: 'A creditor to the human race.'

Waiter, I specifically requested a fortune cookie containing a stock tip.

'Today 'greed' was up, on news that 'fear' was down.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

Trading Market Balancing Act.

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

The day the stock market went UP.

'Oh no, a nuclear war has started and I don't even know which stocks to pick..!'

"Let's not bother him. He's in his think tank."

"So is it good or bad if a stock is viral?"

"He's quick with the birds and the bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears. . ."

"Before we start I'll need your net worth."

"Charles has a sixth sense - he can smell money."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"What's a debenture?"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Soaring Profits

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.