Investment Wiz Gifts

'Don't jump! The latest market sector bubble to burst is making a turnaround!'

The day the stock market went UP.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"What's a debenture?"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Soaring Profits

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

Dow Jones drop

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

Saving for College.