Investing Whiz Gifts

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

The day the stock market went UP.

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"What's a debenture?"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Soaring Profits

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

Dow Jones drop

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

Money exchange

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

Saving for College.

Smiling businessman with rising profits

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"What comes after zillion?"

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

"Today stocks hit a new high, just as global doom and gloom hit a new low."

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.