Financial Whizzes Gifts

'As a romantic guy, nature always makes me thoughtful. Right now, I think about fast-food restaurant stocks.'

"No, you're not putting undue financial pressure on yourself. First graders don't need to take out student loans."

The day the stock market went UP.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"What's a debenture?"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Soaring Profits

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

Dow Jones drop

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Money exchange

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...