Financial Strategy Whiz Gifts

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"What's a debenture?"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Group Think Time

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'The recession is over, again.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Are we broke yet?'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"I just..."

Soaring Profits

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

Dow Jones drop

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

Money exchange

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...