Finance Whiz Gifts

'Your best hedge against a down market is having lots of money.'

'Just exactly how bad is our cash flow problem?'

'It's safe to come out - the auditors have gone.'

'If you're alive this time next week, you'll be living beyond your means.'

Tax officer to a dentist: 'This may hurt a little.'

"That money we withdrew from our account - the bank wants to borrow it back."

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

"We'll be too big to fail!"

"What comes after zillion?"

'Eddie, it's the market's way of saying 'there are other important things in life besides money.'

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

"My summer vacation: How I made money in a bear market."

"How's the market, bullish or bearish?" "Rubbish."

'You should hear back in a day or two. Until then, just sit tight and lay low.'

"We can't pay mom back for all these lemons...lets declare Chapter 11!"

"This is big ... a bank is actually approving a loan."

"Don't jump, Petry! Do you realize how silly you look when the Dow is over 20,000?"

'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'

Two kids have stands: one Lemonade the other Tooth Fairy Investment Advisor.

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"

'You have to work two and a half years to cover your annual living expenses.'

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment.. so it kind of evens out."

"Look, forget about all the formulas. Basically you want to increase your income, and decrease your paper trail."

'Is credit that tight?'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

'I finally saved up enough to send my kid to college. Unless there's another increase in postal rates.'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

'Inflation is a national headache... caused by asset indigestion!'

'Why don't you just screen for stocks that will go up?'

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

Dow Jones drop

'I can't get by on my allowance. You're forcing me to borrow from China.'

Redeemable Securities.

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."