Finance Whiz T-Shirts

'Your best hedge against a down market is having lots of money.'

'Just exactly how bad is our cash flow problem?'

'If you're alive this time next week, you'll be living beyond your means.'

Tax officer to a dentist: 'This may hurt a little.'

"That money we withdrew from our account - the bank wants to borrow it back."

"What comes after zillion?"

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

"We'll be too big to fail!"

'Eddie, it's the market's way of saying 'there are other important things in life besides money.'

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

"How's the market, bullish or bearish?" "Rubbish."

'You should hear back in a day or two. Until then, just sit tight and lay low.'

"My summer vacation: How I made money in a bear market."

"We can't pay mom back for all these lemons...lets declare Chapter 11!"

"Don't jump, Petry! Do you realize how silly you look when the Dow is over 20,000?"

'Have you got the accounts right yet?' - 'Yes, but I had to put in three mistakes to make them balance.'

"This is big ... a bank is actually approving a loan."

"I asked you to send me over a prospectus!"

Two kids have stands: one Lemonade the other Tooth Fairy Investment Advisor.

'You have to work two and a half years to cover your annual living expenses.'

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment.. so it kind of evens out."

"Look, forget about all the formulas. Basically you want to increase your income, and decrease your paper trail."

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

Dow Jones drop

'Why don't you just screen for stocks that will go up?'

'I can't get by on my allowance. You're forcing me to borrow from China.'

Redeemable Securities.

'Inflation is a national headache... caused by asset indigestion!'

'Is credit that tight?'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

'I finally saved up enough to send my kid to college. Unless there's another increase in postal rates.'

Big Game Hunting

"It seems to me it's a little unethical to recommend only ethical companies."

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'