Financial Strategy Wizards Gifts

"We have a fund with a new, advanced financial strategy but it hasn't been tested on humans.''

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

'Are we broke yet?'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"I just..."

'The recession is over, again.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'I'd put it on the back burner, but the stove's been repossessed.'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'