Financial Strategies Enthusiast Gifts

"Last week I saved $20 on a tank of gas and lost $20,000 in the stock market!"

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

'The recession is over, again.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Are we broke yet?'

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

"I just..."

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

"I was going to tell you it's a jungle out there, but I realize that's probably old news to you."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

Tempest in a Teapot