Investing Whiz Pillows

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

The day the stock market went UP.

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"What's a debenture?"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Soaring Profits

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Dow Jones drop

Saving for College.

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

Money exchange

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"What comes after zillion?"

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

"Today stocks hit a new high, just as global doom and gloom hit a new low."

"Let's see now. This one goes right here."

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'