Stock Whiz Pillows

'Before you get into the market, we need to test your pain threshold...'

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

The day the stock market went UP.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"What's a debenture?"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Piggy bank #6: Union Jack.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Soaring Profits

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

Dow Jones drop

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Money exchange

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

I want to make this company green the old fashion way...

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"What comes after zillion?"

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"Now that's how to declare a dividend!"

"Let's see now. This one goes right here."

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

'Wait a minute....!

'Hey -- No fair peeking!'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

Business News.

"Today stocks hit a new high, just as global doom and gloom hit a new low."